This was a very touchy subject, and I was the bread winner in the household. I had primary custodial care of Buttercup, thus she lived with me until she went to live with her father when she was 14. Her tather is on social security disablity and received family benefits. What I did not realize, and it was not disclosed to me, nor did my lawyer do her due diligence, is that the family benefit for Buttercup should have gone to me as she lived in MY household. Granted, he was ordered to pay child support, but the alimony I was ordered to pay was more than the amount of child support. If I knew then what I know now, I would have had the amount deposited in my account, and then mailed the supposal support to him. And speaking of alimony or otherwise know as....
I would have put a sunset date implicitly decided in the MSA, and not have the implied 'sunset' date (one half the length of the marriage), thus why I am STILL paying. So, as it stands, I will have to file an motion to get this ammended and thus removed. I still can't believe that I did not catch that there was no sunset date, and my lawyer knew how I felt about it, because I told her that he felt that I should pay him for the rest of HIS life. We were married in 1996. I filed for divorce in 2003. The divorce was final in 2004. You do the math. So, I will need to retain an attorney to help me fight this. Hello goal for 2016. So not only do I need to get rid of this financial burden, but also his last name, which is a good segue way into...
Changing Back to My Maiden Name
Yes. Granted my married name is shorter, and easier to say, I should have put it into my MSA to have my name changed back after Buttercup turned one year past the age of majority, which is 19. Again, this subject was not brought up during any of my proceedings. And so, it will cost of charming $435.00 to file an ex-parte to take back my maiden name. Well, at least that is what I saw online. I need to schedule a day off and go down to the courthouse where I filed, speak with the family law legal aid office for assistance, so I don't mess this up. The good news is that I believe I will be able to pay this in cash by the end of the year. Someone asked me if it was worth it to me. Yes. It. Is. I need this for my sanity,
Some last thoughts. I never thought I would have ever been a divorcee. It was not in my plan, but then again I ignored the red flags that were present, thinking that I can handle it. The only good thing that came out of my marriage was my daugher. I came out of the marriage in debt, and am still in debt, because honestly, I learned a lot of bad financial behavior from him, always trying to please him. And guess what - I did it again with the Ex BF and I somewhat do it with my daughter and my cousin. Guess the real lesson here is to stop trying to please others - you can't do that Rhitter, because you are in debt and will never get out of debt unless you start paying attention.