An Update... Of Sort

Greetings from cyberspace!  Well, there is a good news, okay news, and bad news.  Which do you want first?  Now, if I were reading this, I would want to hear the bad news first... or perhaps the okay news... So let's start off the okay news..

Okay News
Buttercup came to her senses and went back to school, however, she was may be able to continue with her chemistry class. However, she has been talking with the school counselor regarding her options. She is hopeful that she can get some resolution

Bad News
Even though she me to her senses and went back to school, however, due to other issues, she lost her job. And she got a ticket for driving without a license, which throws a wrench in other things that are going in within her life.  And then the car - the rear brakes have gone kaput!  So, now it needs to be fixed. Le sigh... And I have increased my credit card debt recently regarding some purchases.  And to top it off, Buttercup will not be coming out for Christmas.

Good News
The Ex has not been pestering me about getting back together.  In fact, he has a new girlfriend (good luck to them) and he seems happy.  Yes, I am glad about that. We will be meeting on this Tuesday to get the cell phone plan in his name, as I got my own plan thru Verizon. I get a discount from my work, and better than AT&T.  So what remains is the truck/trailer/insurance. I also need to discuss the satellite radio for the truck.

What's on Tap?
Well, there are a few more things that I have in the hopper.  One of them is to get my stuff from the Ex's and put it into storage.  I don't plan on having it in storage forever.  As much as I love my cousin, and appreciate all that she has done, she has been distant and part of it has to do with the stress in the household.  I feel that I have added to her stress. I have been really trying to be respectful of her space, but it has been hard, because we had gotten so close and then all of the sudden she has pulled away from me. I am partially to blame because I did not respect her space on a certain occasion, but since then, it has not been the same between us.  So, I need to be in prayer for what my next steps are for my life.  Do I continue to stay here, or start making plans to get a place of my own.  And what if Buttercup wants to come out to California.  Again I need to be in prayer so that I can discern what God has in plan for me.

Well, sorry for the length of time between updates.  Sometimes I am not sure of what to write, and I am ashamed that my credit card debt is back up again, all I can say is that I have only myself to blame, because I have a hard time saying no and I tend to be an enabler.  Not just with my daughter, but the Ex as well.  So that is what I am struggling with.


Buttercup and Her Tale of Woes

Greetings from cyberspace! Maybe I should entitle this post as Why I am So Frustrated with My Daughter... Let Me Count the Ways...
  1. Her car - Okay, so here is the skinny.  Buttercup's father found a car.  It seemed to be a good deal. What he didn't do was get a CarFax on it, because if he had, I would have said.. NOPE!  It had been in a head on collision, and there are some issues that could be related.  The rear brakes are not working right (but he said he had the car checked out).  So I have spent a little over $2,000 to get this car running so Buttercup could have a car to go to work, school and so forth.  I had offered to have her take it to a mechanic to get the work done.  Yes, it would mean more debt, but I was willing to do that... but..no..... she is dragging her feet, and her father (who agreed to pay for half) is balking at some of the monies I have paid.... Charming
  2. Her Health Insurance - I am still paying for health insurance for my daughter, but for how long... I am not sure.  The company has not return any calls regarding it.  The policy was a child's policy, and since she is 18, does it matter... or is it because of the Affordable Care Act (Obamacare) that I am still paying... stay tuned...
  3. Her Living situation - She really does not have a place to live.  She is couch surfing.  Not good.  And she is refusing to try to get on any subsidized housing list because of certain legal situations... (for those I have disclosed this too, I am sure you get my meaning), but it is ridiculous.  She will not even try....
  4. Her spending habits - She won't try to make a budget.  Oh joy....
  5. School - SHE DROPPED OUT TODAY!!!!  Oh, yeah... in order for her to go back to school, she has to pay back the FASFA funds she spent this semester....
Yeah - I am pretty much over this being a parent to a new adult..... Bleh....


Happy Labor Day 2014!

Greetings from cyberspace! Happy Labor Day! So what is this gal gonna do today? Well, I need to run a few errands.  I have to go to Home Depot to get something to hang a rod to conceal my closet. Then I need to go to Target to get some personal items, and need to look for new black flats, as mine have a hole in their sole.  Oh vay!!  And finally need to talk to Verizon and or Sprint about a new phone contract.  This could be an expensive day for me... it just depends whether I get a new phone! On the plus side, Buttercup's father will start paying me back for the money for her car, and I will be able to rebuild my emergency fund quicker.  As for my current credit card debt, I am an not going to let it bother me as much as it has been.  I need to work on my personal life and got a handle on the issues that causing such self destructive behaviors. I've really started counseling with a woman from my church. I am hopeful that I will be able to have better tools to deal with my depression.  Yes - there I have said it. I have been depressed. And it will be a while before I trust my heart to another, if ever. Between Buttercup's father and the Ex, it is really crushed.  I never thought I would be divorced, or had my heart so trounced on that it may never recover. So, I've been doing a lot of scripture reading and prayers. Trying to get myself involved. But I feel ugly at times. And the vicious cycle begins again.  Lather. Rinse. Repeat.  I am tired of this merry-go-round that is my life. It is making me dizzy. So very dizzy.  Ugh... 

Well, I need to get going... I was hoping to make this post more light hearted, but as I began to type, all these feelings came out.  Maybe I should just immerse myself in Jane Austen's Emma.. (a great feel good book!)... 

Hugs to all..... xxooxx


Guess Verizon Will Have to Wait

Greetings from cyberspace! Guess who found her phone... that would be this girl!  Thank goodness.  I really was not ready to jump carriers to just yet.  My cousin and I are talking about getting a plan together, but I want to get the best deal. And she is not ready to jump just yet (she has Sprint).  So, we are in a holding pattern for the moment.  Now, if I really wanted to get off contract, I could use Straight Talk (the Walmart pre-paid) for a short while, but I would not have the same phone number. So I am researching all options.


Did I Tell You that I Lost My Phone?

Greetings from cyberspace! Yes - yours truly lost her phone.  Where? I don't know. That is how distracted I have been for the past few days. Not that I am bothered about it, but I was hoping to see if I could get a little something for it!  Thank goodness I backed up nearly all of my pictures.  There is just a handful that weren't. No biggie.. and as for my contacts - time to whittle them down anyways, and I have most of them already synced with my iPad. So, I am good there. It was time for me to get a new phone anyway because my old iPhone 4s kept dropping WiFi and my battery life... ugh.  But the best part of this - I am exiting my contract with AT&T, and thus severing one more tie with the Ex. I will however be taking my phone number with me, as this is the number Buttercup is engraved in her brain. If you were to ask her what my number is - she will quote it at light speed!  (That's my girl!) So, what carrier will I go with.. mmmm... well, definitely not Sprint.  Not AT&T - and certainly note T-Mobile - so the lucky winner of my business shall be Verizon. And the phone - I'm an Apple gal, so an iPhone for me.  Next year, I will be saving up to get iMac Book and then I can dump my old Toshiba... or better I will probably sell it.  It is in pretty good shape, but just old.



And Now Let the True Healing Begin

Greetings from cyberspace! It's been over 10 months since I walked out on the Ex. Tonight I met up with him to have a heart to heart. I told him that I could no longer go over to the house to pick up the monies for the truck and trailer payment. I also told him that I wanted to get my stuff out and into storage.  I also told him that I would be getting my own mobile phone account and he needs to get his own.  He agreed to all of this.  And then I said to him that I needed him to work on getting the truck and trailer in his name.  He agreed he would start working on it. And finally I told him that I wish him happiness with the woman he is dating. He told me a little about her and she seems more suited to him than I was.  This I am glad for. What a difference than the last time. When we split up last time, I had found out that he was seeing someone and I was devastated. Not this time. And the irony - it is four years to the date. I guess I really am over him. Now it is time for the true healing begin.


Funny Picture

Greetings from cyberspace! Buttercup shared the picture this morning on her Facebook wall, and I thought it was so fitting on what has been going on recently in our lives.. (yes, I said our lives)

Yes - this how I have been feeling over the last months.  There is a lot going on right now that I am processing and dealing with. The first being the feeling of being disconnected from life. I feel like I have no real life and part of this is my fault.  I am not asserting my independence and am becoming a bit of a hermit. No good.  I've put weight on and I feel blah and unattractive. The second is the old feeling of being replaced. The Ex this week apparently is taking the travel trailer and went off the for the weekend. Now I know it is a two person job to get it out of the driveway and get it set up.  I have dragged this on far to long in cutting the ties. It was just much easier for me. I need to talk with his mother to see if she can help get the vehicles in his name so that the burden is off me. So I am going to go to the local UPS store and get a mail box today.  Next I am going to look at getting a storage facility and getting the rest of my stuff out.  My goal is to by the time the one year anniversary of my leaving him I will be free and clear of him.  So with that said, time for me to get my gear moving.  First thing, the mailbox.  Toodles.