Random Thoughts - The Battle Commences

Greetings from cyberspace! It's been a while since I have posted about the Ex, but there has been some significant developments regarding the truck and the travel trailer. First of all, both of them are still in my name, and he has done NOTHING to rectify it.  And, yes, I have let this go on far to long. And in light of our recent interactions (where keeps bringing up how I ruined him), he has been mean and cruel.  He really got to me. It was horrible. After talking it over with some friends (including Hawk, which in light of all that went down with him only wanting a friendship, he has been a good sounding board) I wrote and sent the Ex a certified letter to say either secure financing or I am going to sell the vehicles. And let me tell you, he has sent no less than 15 messages - and that was Monday. Even his mother sent me a message hoping that we can come up with a solution. He wants to continue the same arrangement, whereas I do not. Like I mentioned to them both - this is NOT negotiable. Take care of it. And stay out of my life.


Random Thoughts - Better Off as Friends

Greetings from cyberspace! As most of you know that there has been a certain gentleman that entered my life, whom I have had a very strong attraction to.  Our relationship started as friendship, and was looking like it was moving towards a different direction, but there was an obstacle. One of us had their emotions and thought somewhere else. And, yes, it was him.  Am I sad? Yes. But I was adult enough to recognize it. I knew that I was starting to get emotionally invested him, and started to get the feeling that it was not mutual. It was the tone of a conversation I had with him on Friday. After much crying and prayer, I sent the message to cancel our Tuesday dinners. And was completely honest with him. He called me, and we talked. Always honest. That is our saying. Always honest. Do I wish it was otherwise? Absolutely. But I would rather have Hawk as a friend, than lose him altogether. He did admit that he enjoyed talking to me. But we both agreed, that we both need time apart for me to get my emotions in check before we can hang out again. And if we do, it needs to be in a group setting.  I don't think I can handle one-on-one time. Not for a while. With God's grace and mercy, I will work on our friendship.  And who knows what will happen in the future. Only God does. And Hawk acknowledged that. And that is where we are. Friends.


The Week that Was - 2/19 - 2/25/2015

Greetings from cyberspace! This past week was really boring... and I mean boring...some drama... very little spending.
  • February 19 - My cousin's birthday. We went over to her daughter's house and had dinner, but then the conversation was turning towards a topic that I am pretty much tired of.  And on the way, Buttercup called telling me that she could be pregnant??? Oh please no. I can't bear that.
  • February 20 - Pay day! We had some friends come over and I had a little too much wine.  And why??  Because the Ex said some pretty cruel things when I had to stop by and pick up some money.  Grrrrr... It really upset me.  And with Hawk not being around so that I can vent... not good.
  • February 21 - Still felt raw from the night before, but we had the same friends over again, and we played poker. It was fun, but still... I could not really enjoy myself.
  • February 22 -  Woke up with a slight headache.  The weather was cold and dreary.  Met up with some friends to watch NASCAR,  These are the friends that introduced me to Hawk. We talked about him a bit, and I began to realize that I like this man way too much for my own good.
  • February 23 - Monday morning blah... And I mean blah.. I started coming down with something. Sent a message to Hawk indicating that I wasn't up to talking. He was sweet that he said get some soup, and get some rest.
  • February 24 - Stayed home from work. Messaged Hawk regarding the Ex situation with the truck and trailer. He offered to help me deal with it. I don't think it would be a good idea.  For one, Hawk and I are friends (though it feels something a little more, but...) He made some valid points.  I sent a text to the Ex telling him that I want the rest of my stuff.  When I get the rest of my stuff, I will be handing him a paper that will outlay the terms of our financial crap.
  • February 25 - Felt better, but not great. Hawk and I exchanged messages regarding how I'm feeling (health wise), but I think we need to have another conversation regarding our 'friendship'. And I am pretty scared, because like I said, I like this man way too much for my own good.
Honestly, just not feeling good about a whole lot of things right now.  The only thing going well for me is my daily reading in the Bible. It is about the only thing that is bringing me joy. It needs to get better.  Really does.


Debt Tracker Update - 2/20/2015

Greetings from cyberspace! Here is the tracker for this pay period! Not too much down, this paycheck, as I had to deduct the new debt that I put on one of the cards, but other than that, steady as she rolls.  Not much to really discuss this week. Sort of a bland week. But still making progress. I guess that is what counts. Sorry for being a bit in the dumps. I will post more in the Random Thoughts blog (which I need to double up on).

Until then - keep plugging away!


The Week that Was - 2/12 - 2/18/2015

Greetings from cyberspace! Again, are we sure it's winter?? Because it has been so sunny and warm here in Southern California. So, it has been an interesting week.  Some highs and some lows.
  • February 12 - Buttercup lost her job! And the reason? Her schedule got switched up at last minute. She didn't write it down, and consequently she forgot she was supposed to go in and was declared a No Show and was let go. Now part of it I understand, because she was on probation for a similar incident. However, for them to do a last minute switch on her schedule was not exactly fair, and they should have relented and gave her a last chance, because apparently there are others that have done the same, and they still have their jobs. There is something else going on, but Buttercup has been pretty closed mouth about the whole thing. Furthermore, I don't know if she has started to look for another job.
  • February 13 - What a day! Work was just crazy.. and the ride home... 2 hours! But it was bearable... and why? Because Hawk and I were having.... mmmm.... interesting... conversation via texting, which ended up him asking me to join him for a couple of drinks. While we were texting, I commented that I had soup for both lunch and dinner.  When I got to the restaurant, he has a BBQ chicken sandwich waiting for me. Very sweet, and caring. It was still friendly, but a little more. And we ran into mutual friends, and one of them noted how much he was smiling. Best part of the night - it was not awkward. Felt perfectly natural. And he paid for everything. What a gentlemen.
  • February 14 - I HATE THIS DAY!! Why?? I have been dumped on this day. I have been stood up for dinner date. And the final nail in the coffin, the last Valentine's day when I was married, not only did I not get a card, let alone a 'Happy Valentine's Day', but he asked me this.. "Did you think you deserved one?" And about two months later I filed for divorce. So what did I do this day? I went to the gym and got brutal. Then came home and worked on laundry, grocery shopping and then went on a 5 mile bike ride. My cousin bought me Stress Relief Aromatherapy Cream and I bought her some Argon Oil. Yes, we were each other's Valentine's.  We had some friends stop over, and I was so beat from the day, along with the three glasses of wine, I started to fall asleep on the couch.
  • February 15 -  Got up, went to church, and went to get my eyebrows and upper lip threaded. Ouch, but so much nicer! I finished up my cousin's grown children taxes and then just relaxed. She borrowed my car and went over to her friend's. Hawk called me and we chatted for a bit. My cousin then called wanted to know if I wanted to join her because they were heating up the Jacuzzi, and going to order food. She suggested that I invite Hawk, which he was happy to join. He picked me up, and we headed over there. Good man, but Lord help me. He was kind enough to bring ME something special to drink. And he helped out with paying for the food. And even though he had to leave to go to the store for his kids, he took me home. He even walked me to the door. I am trying to keep this man in the friend zone, and HE is making it real difficult.
  • February 16 - Ugh.. and I mean ugh... whatever I ate on Sunday did NOT agree with me. I was pretty much feeling blah all day long. Food... bleh.. Even though I did a work out, it was not with the same intensity. I came home just feeling sick and tired. I went to bed early. Stick a fork in me, I was done.
  • February 17 - Woke up feeling so much better! And work was pretty mellow. Hawk and I went out for dinner, which was my treat. We mutually agreed that the friendship lines were getting blurred, but we left it at that. We had a lovely time. Even though I was buying, he did the ordering. Dinner was fantastic, and bonus it was comedy night and the pub where we ate at. Great conversation, and again, felt natural and comfortable. And like the gentlemen he is, he walked me to my car. We agreed to have dinner again in two weeks, but the next time he's buying.  It was a pricey night, but worth it. Again, trying to keep this in the friend zone, but it is going to be challenging. 
  • February 18 -  Lent begins today. Now I am not a Catholic, but I appreciate some of their traditions. Lent brings about a time of reflection for me, and always has, and it is kind of fitting that Hawk leaves today for his work week. We agreed to keep lines of communication open, but this go around, I would like to focus on the direction the friendship is going. I like the pace I am at, and he does too. At the end of the day, it is about two people who genuinely like each other and enjoy each other's company. Balanced my accounts, and get ready to pay for bills.
A lot of action on the personal front. Spending a little on the high side. Generally, a great week.


So How am I Doing - Action and Goal Update Mid-February 2015

Greetings from cyberspace! Wow, February is halfway over. Incredible. And so for, this has been going okay. I have working out and eating better, and I am beginning to see and feel results.  But enough about that. Let's do a check in on the goals and action plan.

Action Plan February 2015

  1. Update W-4 withholding amount - Done. 
  2. Re-calibrate budget - In progress - I will be posting the budget as soon as the tax with-holdings kick in.
  3. Call collection agency regarding paid off account - Grrrr.... these people are idiots!! 
  4. Contact gym and negotiate lesser rate - Done
Goals Update

  • Complete Baby Emergency Fund by June 30th  - on target
  • Pay Off 5% of 41,074.41 (-$2053.72) per Quarter - Well, technically done due to lump sum paid via tax refund.
  • Save $500 for Christmas - will start after emergency fund is complete
  • Complete the Bible in One Year app on my iPhone -  on target and loving it!
  • Re-read Jesus Calling - on target and loving it!
  • Read at least 12 books from my current NOOK/Kindle library - 1 book in progress - Boundaries
  • Read additional 12 books for book club - Cancelled - I need to save a little money, so I can't spend additional money on books.  I have plenty in my current libraries about, so this goal is going to be combined.
  • Complete a 5K within 40 minutes - in progress.
  • Go to gym every day for at least 1 hour of exercise - on target, and I am feeling stronger!
  • Lose 20 lbs - I've lost 5 so far
  • Read monthly professional journal and complete CE exams within journal - I read the journal, but need to do the CE Exams
  • Complete my 2015 re-assessment test by the end of the year - end of year goal
  • Keep my email box below 50 emails by the end of a each week - need to whip this back into shape.
So there you have it.  Not too bad.


The Week that Was: 2/5 - 2/11/2015

Greetings from cyberspace! Okay... Are we sure it is February....it has been so warm. At least I have been able to get some old fashioned Vitamin D.
  • February 5 - Hawk left for a week for work. Personally, I am glad. It will give me the distance and time to reflect on our friendship. I also met with my mentor from church and told her about him. I mentioned that part of the discussions he and I had was there would nothing physical between us.                   
  • February 6 - Payday!!!  Woot! Which also meant a little more down on the debt!! I had to get my car smogged, but it only cost $51. Now I just have to mail in the registration fees and I'm good. Since I left work early, I went to my normal gym.  I did talk to them about bring down my cost, and they downgraded me from Premium to Basic, which will save me about $10 a month.
  • February 7 - Drumline competiton! What an expensive day. I tried to keep the expenses to a minimum, but I failed. Grrrr. I bought hear stadium bench chairs, however I am glad because they saved our backs. They were a good investment. But the cost of gas, food and entry fee for the competition. It started raining so we left early and my cousin's son's team came in last. And I could not fall asleep. Too much on my mind. Bleh!
  • February 8 - Went to church and reflected on the path my life is going. I got my nails done and my cousin's parents came to visit. It was a good day. 
  • February 9 - Have I mentioned how much I loathe Mondays??? I mean I real hate them. And it did not help that I have been dealing with some major emotional stuff. And work was just bleh. Grrrr.
  • February 10 - Mailed in my car registration. Right under the wire. Thank goodness. I just hate though paying over $100 for registration each year. Grrrrr. And on top of that I was having a meltdown regarding life. 
  • February 11 - I had to drive myself in because my carpool person had to be in one of our other offices. And the FasTrak lane turned into an HOV lane only so I was late for a meeting. And I had to work online at home until midnight. Grrrr. The only saving grace was that I knew I did not have to drive the next day. 
What a crappy week. Truly a crappy week. Grrrrr