On Being Humble and Grateful

Greetings from cyberspace! This is such a hard post to write. I have been doing a lot of praying today. It was such a heartbreaking day yesterday. I was going to just give up and throw in the towel. Close this blog down and disappear. That was my intent. And then I got a few comments stating that they will miss my blog. That it has 'humanity'. That it was one of three that they read. That they were anxious to read about my adventures of being a grandma. That they want to see a picture of my precious angel. And of course our dear Mysti is not going to let me escape or will she let me hide.  So let's start anew and fresh..... 

Hello - my nom de plume is Rhitter - but my real name is Vicki.  And what does Rhitter stand for... well, if you have been a long time reader, you would recall that the first four letters are my professional credentials - RHIT - Registered Health Information Technician. And today is my birthday. And I have been in debt for most of my adult life. I have made some poor financial decisions. I have enabled my only child (a daughter, known as Buttercup) who is about to deliver my first grandchild any day. I married a man that was a spender.  I lived with a man that was spender.  Guess who is a spender.. Yep... that would be me.  Guess who is learning that she can't do that any more. Yep.... me again. Maybe it is a good thing that I am not in a relationship. And on that front, I was in love with this guy, whom I shall call Hawk, but yesterday, he truly showed how much he does NOT want to be with me. I live with my cousin, renting a room. And you would think by this living situation, I would be able to pay off my debt by now, and saved money.  Oh heck to the no. In fact, I have accrued more debt, because I figured since I have low living expenses, I was able to help Buttercup more and more and more... and not realizing that I was doing her and myself a huge injustice.  Oh and that man I lived with... I stupidly financed a truck and travel trailer, and while yes he is making the payments... it is still technically my debt. And so yesterday, the car that I have paid off blew it's engine.  Let's face facts - it was taking a dump. The suspension, brakes, sensors and finally the engine... The estimate to get it in running condition - about 6,000. Awesome!!! No thank you. So let's see how bad this is.  I currently have a ton of debt... loans, credit cards... and now will have to take on a car payment. Talk about a serious derailment. Guess it is time to scrap the old goals. Oh wait... we are starting fresh and new.  And I would love to have some serious interaction from my readers. Not just passive readers. Come on. You probably are thinking what a ding-a-ling... or she is clueless... (guilty to a fault). But hey, at least I will admit there is a problem.  And Houston, it is a big one.  So like my blog states... this is MY journey. It's a long trip, with many pits and falls along the way, but let's make it fun! This ship has plenty of room! - So all aboard!!!  This blog is staying open as long as it take to get out of debt.

Now... where to start... ugh...


I am so Done

Greetings from cyberspace. I am so done. Just done. Done. My car engine took a crap and blew a gasket or whatever. I don't have the money to fix it. I am just freaking done. DONE!!!! And there is just so much more... emotionally ... I am freaking DONE!

So for my birthday, I am going to delete this blog. I'm done.

If you wish to keep in contact - feel free to email me.


Take your pick.

Good-bye and good luck to all of you out there.


On Learning to Let Go of Things

Greetings from cyberspace! As a particular troll commented that I tend to validate my existence on what others think, and there is some truth to that. So one of the things that I have been working on is not giving a flying hoot what people think. And I hate to admit it, it feels great to not giving a hoot of what people think. As long as I am kind and respectful, that is what matters that I treat people with agape love.  And if they can't reciprocate, then I just brush it off and move on. And that is how it goes. Also, letting go of expectations. It is not worth it, because I just get hurt. And I am tired of being hurt. Because I have discovered when I am emotionally hurt, I spend.  And that is not good for my budget or my debt payment plans. So, I choose to start letting go.... (Queue up Disney song... Let it Go!!!)


On Getting Ready for Trip

Greetings from cyberspace! In 14 days I will be heading out to see Buttercup. And there is SOOOO much stuff to do. Last night I was talking to Hawk regarding it (yes, we still talk) and I expressed how much stress I felt. He made an observation and paid me a compliment (and from him that is pretty rare). He said, 'You will find the energy and time. You are one of the strongest person's I've met, and I have no doubt you will get all you need into place.'  Thank you Sir Hawk. It helped, but there is so much to do.  Here is the list and concerns:
  • Financial Obligations - Being that I don't have a set time to return (this is dependent upon the birth of the my granddaughter), I will need to made contingencies for my obligations such as rent and the truck and trailer payment. For the truck and trailer I have made the arrangements for the Ex-BF to start making deposits directly to my bank. For my cousin, I will have to work with her to get a PayPal account set up so that I can transfer money to her. All of my debt payments are on autopay, so that is a good thing.
  • Work Obligations - I can work remotely, and hopefully she will deliver while I am on the vacation break, but if not, I will need to remote in. There will be internet where I am staying and if not, hello local library. But before that, I have to get some projects set up for the team to start work on.
  • Getting Myself Ready to Go - wardrobe, personal hygiene items, entertainment (my iPad), Bible, workout routine,
  • Food/Gas Budget - let's just say that my daughter does not share my particular diet, so I will need to buy my own food. And being that I am renting a car, I will have to buy gas as well. Thank goodness gas is a bit cheaper out there, but food, not so much.
Well - that is about the four big things that I can think of. It's going to get a little bumpy.


On Buttercup's Birthday

Greetings from cyberspace. Happy Birthday to my sweet Buttercup. Can't wait to see you next month and watch you become a mother.  


On Mid Year Check-in on Goals

Greetings from cyberspace! Well... it's that time of the year.  Time to do a check-in and tune up of my yearly goals. So, let's get to the fun stuff... shall we???

Financial - 2016
  • Pay-off minimum 5% debt per quarter
    • Still on target for this.  Even though I recently took out consolidation loan, I am still on track for this.
  • Clear tax debt by end of year
    • Mission accomplished
  • Pay off the small credit cards by end of year
    • Mission accomplished
  • Get court order to stop alimony by July
    • Houston - we have a problem. This is going to cost money to get this resolved. Grrrrr
  • Replenish Murphy Fund by end of year
    • Houston - we have a problem - Not going well at all. Hard to get traction on this.
Personal - 2016
  • Complete a Chronological Bible reading plan
    • I gave up on this.  I kept skipping days.
  • Read 1 book a month from my current NOOK/Kindle library
    • Still on target. Last month I read two books.
  • Work on relationship with self and not being so focused on Hawk
    • This is so-so. We are still friends and we hang out, but I am working on minimizing my contact with him
  • Meet up with old school friends on quarterly basis
    • This is harder than I thought. We are all so busy.
Health - 2016
  • Complete a 5K without having to walk part of it.
    • Almost there. Not quite, but almost there.
  • Do 20 regular push-ups by June 2016
    • Almost there. Not quite, but almost there
  • Continue going to gyms 4-6 days, minimum 1 hour.
    • Very much on track with this.
  • Get Body Fat Percentage to 20%
    • Almost there. Not quite, but almost there
Professional - 2016
  • Read article for Continuing Education units and complete Exam weekly on Friday
    • Houston - we have a problem - Not going well at all. Hard to get traction on this.
  • Spend at least one hour daily maintaining and cleaning email box
    • Houston - we have a problem - Not going well at all. Hard to get traction on this.
Guess I need to re-do these.  Ugh... Le sigh.


On Becoming a Grandmother

Greetings from cyberspace! In less than a month I will have the extreme pleasure of becoming a grandmother. It is an exciting time, but still a time of uncertainty. As excited as I am to become a grandparent, I am realizing that my daughter is going to become a mother and all that entails.  The emotional, mental, physical and financial aspect of being a parent. I pray that my daughter will be able to deal with all of this. As much as I love my daughter, she tends to be on the self-absorbed side, and doesn't care about others' situation.  That is really evident when I have reflected on my finances. A good portion of the credit card debt is due to my 'helping' her out. I have told her that the bleeding has to stop. If she expects me to come visit her on a regular basis, I can't pay for her life. And I want to be able to travel to see her and my grandchild and not worry how I am going to pay for it. And now that the budget has somewhat stabilized, it will be easier to do it. So, I continue to pray for guidance, and continually reaffirm my resolve to stay focused on paying down my debt. And speaking of the debt, there is some interesting news on that front, but that is a post for another day. But for now... I can't wait to meet my granddaughter.